At the moment…
I feel vulnerable.
I feel vulnerable.
How can a foreigner stay in Berlin? That is the question I am trying to answer. Possible answers:
1) Illegally.
2) Start a new master’s program.
3) Get a contract job (pretty hard, actually).
4) Get married to a German (next on my list of things to try).
Florian Schubert, my wunderbar Tandem partner!
Rainy weather has never gotten to me so much before. I’m craving sunlight like a plant, for God’s sake!
I guess it also has to do with the fact that when it’s shitty outside, I stay in…sequestering myself in this hole of a room, turning thoughts over in my head, trying (sort of unsuccessfully) to practice German. Then the loneliness sets in.
Maybe I should reconsider those vague thoughts of moving to Seattle!
Alexandra Pascalidou:
“There’s nothing like a good economic argument to sell gender equality.”
"Counting the Cost of Machismo - By KATRIN BENNHOLD on the NY Times website.
It is interesting to reflect upon where we’ve come from, how we got to where we are, and what direction we can go from here. I think in general that my experience here in France has taught me many things, including but not limited to:
1) Don’t let anyone persuade you to do something you are initially morally uncomfortable doing (like working illegally without a contract) because it will most likely come back to bite you. I got screwed by my boss, who told me outright that he thinks 7 days notice was enough and that he would not reimburse me ANY of the expenses I incurred for this job. And I was going to nice and give him a months notice? Shows you the difference between a decent person and an ass.
2) Never trust an Aussie. Just kidding. But in all seriousness, this goes back to point #1. Don’t trust everyone. People can be a great help when we trust them, but above all you have to trust yourself.
3) It is always worth it to do something the right way because it will most likely save you the grief of failure. Even if going through the process of getting a different visa will be annoying and hard, it will save me troubles like this one (having to go home prematurely, to start the process over again).
4) Living in a different country and dealing with a different culture is hard. I realize that if I want to come back to study music here legally, I will have to deal with a lot of B.S. The red tape here is soooooo thick that getting anything done takes ages, and figuring out how to live in Paris without spending a fortune isn’t easy, either. I will have to make a serious decision about whether to pursue studies here or in Montreal, for instance.
I’ve learned more…but I have to finish packing. Anyway, I’m super excited to see my family and friends very soon—not to mention the glorious city I call home where you have drugstores, good drink specials, and navigable streets!!!
So the last week has been all about IMMEDIACY.
Sunday morning my boss and I disagree.
Tuesday we decide my last day is November 30.
Wow. Still, I can’t believe how happy I felt when this decision was made. A weight was lifted, the seas were parted, the sun broke through the clouds, etc. etc. I know the next few weeks will be really difficult and the next few months equally so, but I have the chance to start over here in France. In PARIS.
One idea I had while hearing Ian and his mom discuss their English lessons was to enroll in an English certification program and see if I qualify for a student visa. In that case, I can work part time (legally) and apply for state aid. Language has been one of my life’s passions, but with clarinet always taking precedence I never fully explored my options with it. Why not now?